Saying Goodbye or Disappearing into the Night

Do I really need an excuse for not writing?

I can understand the temptation to slink away into the night and not have to face not only the feelings but who I have been for the past 13 years. I have spent a lot of my life untangling my inner twists and knots in order to feel and process like a "normal person". Yet I am constantly surprised at how much I don't want to feel anything these days. And we are on a goodbye merrygoround.

Lunch with some of my Intero friends was very sweet. When you work that hard and 'go through the fire with people' you really get close. Our office has had so many good people who understand community and how to bring it together. One of the reasons I was able to take being a realtor to a higher level was due to their good role modeling. And so many good good people not only in our office but in the real estate community in town.

Dinner with Congregation Emeth last night was also poignant. This was my first time I had ever joined a congregation. I also remember how welcomed Rabbi Jerry made us feel and how I loved his rambling sermons which I'm not sure I ever fully understood. And how welcome everyone made us feel. I know we confused people at first (how often does a Methodist Minister join a temple?) but before too long there was always a friendly 'hey Reverend' to Ted and lots of entry points for me and the girls. Rabbi Yitzi was very good at bringing us into the congregation in meaningful ways and enriched my experience of being Jewish far beyond my expectations. I have a greater love of Judaism due to him. I feel blessed that I was able to use my skills and work as a Realtor to play my part in helping the Congregation buy a building. But that's a whole other story!

Tonight we have a party at the Church where we celebrate another round of deep friendships. I don't know how exactly to tell my story of how I fell in love with everyone at Church, with the Christian walk and how that has enriched my life. I believe we have our own spiritual paths. I know mine is a Jewish one and at the same time I feel honored to have been able to participate in so many different ways at the Methodist Church, stumbing around trying to find my way. If joining a temple was new to me, well, being a part of church was way out of anything I understood. Yet I was also warmly welcomed and accepted here and allowed to find my place.

People have been dropping by to say hello, to say goodbye. Bringing offerings of strawberries, cookies and friendship. But how do you package friendships for the road? I am heartbroken to leave so many people I love. I have had the gift of so many opportunities to grow as a Jew, as a Christian, as a mother and a wife, as a Realtor, as a member of community and larger communities, as a friend and as a person.